Parks and Wrecks a Haiku

5 Oct

I told a coworker to write a poem on the old typewriter I found. I could see him counting on his fingers and thinking of phrases silently. A normal person would assume he was writing a Haiku.

I got this instead:

"Lindsay in disguise

Grinchy grin always wins

Always use the half rule"

So….yea….

I actually kind of love it.

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Mario

7 May

A little video of our summer together…

Grinchy Smile

25 Mar

My best friend and I have a way of describing one of my moods- grinchy. I get that grinchy smile like a Dr. Seuss character and then I do something random and mildly annoying like putting wasabi peas in the M&M’s or setting the alarm clock for an absurd hour like 3 a.m. when I know she’s tired or give her boss a full on moon.

So when I was in the Cayman Islands I had this smile A LOT.

One morning after Aaron left for work I somehow stumbled into a rando’s Netflix account on his TV. He used to AirBnB his place out when he traveled so someone a year ago had logged on and it was somehow still there. All the queue was like the Dick Van Dyke show and Fresh Prince and Friends and Disney movies- wholesome shit- so I put on Forensic Files and went to the beach. I came home, we BBQed, went swimming and hung out….14 hours later it was still playing Forensic Files! I fucked up some random person’s queue so bad!

And once we realized what I had done….

we put on a porn. Just to make it super extra weird whenever they log in again.

Grinchy smile.

You Can’t Take Me Anywhere

7 Mar

Last night I went to see Logan with the crew. It started at 7:30 and it’s a 2.25 hour long movie. I wake up at 4:30 a.m. for work these days, and I go to bed early. I fell asleep somewhere in the middle of the movie. While I was asleep, Wolverine stumbles upon a Wolverine comic book and he and Prof. X start debating it or something. I dunno. I was asleep. But apparently at the talk of comic books I started talking back and answering Prof. X.

I quote “You had a blast with Prof. X last night. We can’t take you anywhere.”

At one point I said “No!” so loud I woke myself up.

It’s a good movie at the end. I think.

All About that Bosque

1 Mar

Lunch today is brought to you by the letter G for gumbo. And by Jill and Raf (who made the gumbo).

It’s been a while since I posted so let me catch yall all up to speed. I got a new job, and decided to go back to school. These were independent decisions but of course with my luck, they both manifested and began on the same day. So I went from exactly zero to one hundred in a matter of seconds. I am still working to catch my breath.

The job is wonderful, and exactly what I wanted in my life right now. Maine was great but I was constantly wondering about the logistics behind the island. What environmental measures are in place to keep the bird populations happy and healthy? Is anyone studying the seal family over on Nigh Duck? How much of this sewage that we funnel into the harbor ends up inside of cod? How much erosion takes place in Cathedral woods each spring? …These are the sorts of things I wondered about. All the while the humidity was wreaking havoc on my bones and so I swore my next job would have the option of a chair. I got my wish. I now work for the Open Space Division (part of the Parks and Recreation Department) for the City of Albuquerque. Open Space manages nearly 30,000 acres of wetland, volcanoes, bosque, the Rio Grande, and petroglyphs among many other things, with the purpose of acquiring, protecting, and maintaining the natural landscapes and cultural resources that both enhance our urban environment and provide wildlife habitats.

I do love this desert. With the recent political environment and feeling of doom, I suppose I should be in the public sector, fighting to preserve the places that are threatened. We all do our part.

resist

A reason to throw a party… and to have it catered

17 Nov

​It was surprisingly warm last night in the Airstream. Low sixties, maybe high fifties. I’ve been sleeping in a wool poncho I got in Mexico, so that might very well have been helping as well. Before dawn, a crazy wind kicked in and I had to get up and secure some things, because even with windows and door shut, if not latched properly they rattle like hell. There are plenty of breezes that get through the seals. When I got back in bed Frank crawled under the blanket and poncho with me. It got cold, but not til the sun came up. Then it kept getting colder.

I woke up when the wind literally shook me out of bed. Frank had also skooched me to the edge so that spill was partially his fault too. Falling in the Airstream sucks. You hit everything. Like I could’ve literally landed my head in the oven. The camper was swaying so much because of the deflated tire, the uneven parking space, and the blasted super wind cutting down the mountain at 70mph. I could hear things outside snapping and falling and breaking. Desert debri stings.

I grew up in the south. I know you don’t stay in a trailer in a wind storm. So Frank and I put Cheese-cat outside (he has a safe spot) and went to the grocery store and laundromat. The awful wind wouldn’t stop and it was honestly pissing me off, coupled with a handful of folks being extremely deficient at their jobs, and Frank being a total jerk about some cheese snacks I had in my purse, I was having a truly awful day. I had to fight just to shut doors, keep groceries in their bags, my laundry off the parking lot, and it kept getting colder.

I haven’t yet unpacked any of my bags except a weekend bag from a month ago, because there is nowhere for me to put everything right now. I’m crowded. So at the laundromat I was that human (we’ve all seen them) who literally took off her coat, her sweater, and her socks in public by the washer and threw them all in, then hung out for an hour in only dress pants and a wife beater, doing a crossword by a glass wall on the busiest street in town. My eyes felt like they did when I had pink eye. Was the wind giving me pink eye? The idea pissed me off. I was stewing in crankiness. Not my best showing.

Some rando came over and offered to get me stoned. Seriously. I was that disheveled and unhappy. He buggered off and then people mostly left me alone. But then after an extremely chilly patio beer with Mr. Frank and a pretty sunset we decided to get a cheap hotel room and a warm bath. We shared some junk food and I changed my poncho and now all I felt was tired. 

Oh, and pure joy. Because on the way to get junk food I saw this beauty and had to do a double take.

That’s right. Waffle House has a food truck. So life headed in at least one right direction today. Kaboom, y’all… now what sort of party should I get catered?

My dog, the Franklin

13 Nov

People love their dogs. let them have it. dogs are the best . 

But my dog, Mr. Frank, takes the cake . He literally just got mad at air, barked at it, then took a nap. He’s my soulmate. I wish my life was so taken care of that I never worried. I also wish that I owned the world and nothing mattered.

 I wish I could bark at the air just because I was pissed off, but people, humans, aren’t supposed to do that. I admire my little guy. He’s expressive. Some may view that as a fault. But he is HIM. Power to him.

Now he and I will take a fabulous nap. and it’s only fabulous because he’s there. Mull that around in your noggins, because I’ll be sleeping peacefully with the love of my life.

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