This is me in ABC

8 Dec

A – Age? I’m maturing. Like wine

B – Bed size? Whose bed?

C – Chore you hate? Trying to figure out what went on the night before. And where the hell my shoes are.

D – Dog’s name? I love Jess, Joey, and Heather’s dogs… and that is enough for me.

E – Essential start of your day item? Vibrator

F – Favorite color? Purple- like royalty. And red- like blood.

G – Gold or Silver? Gold- and no strings attached

H – Height?  I tower over New Mexico.

I – Instruments you play(ed)?  Stereo.

J – Job title?  Administrative Assistant. That means secretary.

K – Kids? No, thanks. I like my life and my vagina just the way they are.

L – Living arrangements?  In sin

M – Mom’s name? Your mama jokes are so 1994…

N – Nicknames? Lindsay G, L-Train, LG, hey pretty, you lush

O – Overnight hospital stay? I hope not, I didn’t think it was that serious!

P – Pet Peeve? People that talk about themselves in ABC format.

Q – Quote from a movie? ” The plaque for the alternates is down in the ladies room.”

R – Right or left handed? Right, but it really depends on what I am doing. I can use them both at once if I’m feeling particularly spunky.

S – How many siblings? Just one. The world is overwhelmed enough by me.

T – Time you wake up? I wake up around seven every day but whenever the drunk wears off is when I really start ticking.

U- Underwear?  Currently? Or in general?

V – Vegetable you dislike?  Judgey wudgey was a bear! Everything is beautiful in its own way. But no seriously- watermelons. They have no business being vegatables. Go back to your home on fruit-whore Island, watermelons!

W – Ways you run late?  Wait, what kind of ‘late’ are you referring to?

X – What was the question?  “I can’t hear you, I have a banana in my ear”

Y – Yummy food you make?  Jalapeno cornbread. Oh, and I make a mean bloody mary. That’s food, right?

Z – Zoo animals?  Smell horrible

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One Response to “This is me in ABC”

  1. Doug December 8, 2010 at 5:09 am #

    Come to my office for a minute for an amazing coincidence. … I happen to have some watermelons in my desk.

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