Anybody Want a Chihuahua?

16 Feb

I hate my dog.

Not really. I love my dog. I just love her less now.

I will explain.

Not often, but every now and then someone does something and you can just never look at them the same way ever again. Right? Well that happened. In a big way. I was just reminded of it so I thought I would relay the story on to all of my little ducklings so that I do not become Cruella de Vil in anyone’s eyes. Always helps to know the facts.

I’m not even sure how to tell it. I get emotional at the memory.

So there I was, lying on the couch watching TV and eating a Toblerone. Kiki, the dog, she snuggled up next to me on the pillow. She’s a Chihuahua mix so she can fit in pretty small places. She also eats poop in the backyard sometimes.

She waited…

And waited…

And right as I took a bite of the chocolate bar…

she PUKED POOP.

That’s not the kicker.

You ready for it?

She PUKED the POOP right onto my FACE! As I had chocolate in my mouth!

It will never be the same after that stunt. I started puking- for like an hour. It was the barf-apocalypse. And I scrubbed myself harder than Lady Macbeth, but still everytime I look at her I smell that AWFUL foulness. Chocolate will never be the same, either.

Image

It was my Vietnam.

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