Punching Bags

15 Jan

My cat just came to hang out with me. She sat next to me while I slept, watched me for a bit, and then punched me in the face.

Which caused the biggest nosebleed of my life to occur. A true gusher.

My teeth ache. And my eyes. I’m worried she may have broken my nose.

How can so much blood come out of a face?

She maimed me (on accident) and now I know that my heart still works because it is pumping a steady flow of blood through my nostrils.

Fun fact: nosebleeds make you want to sneeze. Supplemental fun fact: it looks like American Psycho in here.

That’s good. This is actually a good thing. Maybe I needed some all-encompassing face pain to distract me from my heartbreak (life).

Always so wise, Floyd.

I swear to god if I get black eyes from this I’m giving up. No more fucks will be given.

Turns out I really like the taste of blood, though (probably something I shouldn’t say on the interwebs).

Ah, salmon steaks on the face. Classic Tuesday.

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