Archive | February, 2016

And that’s how you get pink eye

25 Feb

A coworker and I used to have a running joke. Whenever one of us did something gross (clean out the drain, scrape grease off of walls, touch an unknown sticky spot on the bar, make out with a stranger, etc) we would giggle “And that’s how you get pink eye.” You know, because you get pink eye from fecal matter (at least that’s what he told me).

It became a whole thing. Whenever we’d talk about our weekends we would say it, whenever someone bent over and we saw a butt crack, whenever a pigeon or a dog got inside, whenever anybody spoke or behaved inappropriately…you get the idea.

I recently sent him this picture with the caption “And that’s how you get pink eye.”


Apparently you can get conjunctivitis from allergens, too. Which sucks, because I really like my danderful cats.

Also, that is no laughing matter (ok kind of it is) because it’s stinking painful and causes complications (blepharitis, punctate keratitis) which make it a pain to cure.

Haha. Doesn’t ‘blepharitis’ sound like a dinosaur name? That’s kind of awesome.

…I guess the joke’s on me, folks.

Getting Classy

23 Feb

Going straight classy tonight. Lit a bunch of candles, filled a bubble bath, turned on my happy new playlist

Then i ate a sandwich in the bath tub, while smoking joint, and am now attempting to dye my own hair. Like some kind of animal. By candle light. Because I haven’t learned anything yet.

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