Archive | May, 2018

Things I love About Summertime

31 May

Pools

BBQs

Cold beer

Fireworks

Isotopes baseball

Breezes through open windows

Being barefoot

Wearing sandals

Rivers

Lakes

Boats

Grilled pineapple

Blooming flowers

Backyards

Scenic hikes

Camping

Alligator rodeos

Warm rain

Popsicles

Longer days

Hammocks

Doin’ the Cockroach

15 May

I woke up this morning to a giant cockroach crawling across me AS I LAY IN BED.

I totally lost my shit. So gross. I leapt up and pulled all the bedding up with me, threw it on the floor and did a stomping dance that made the punk rocker in me proud. Things were knocked off of the bedside table, the remote was thrown across the room- I was like one step away from tossing a TV through a window just for the hell of it, because I already felt like a Pink Floyd video.

After my tantrum I systematically looked through my sheets to make sure the thing was dead.

So I need the Ghostbusters to come and watch me when I’m asleep and an exterminator to basically blow up every cockroach on my block. Why can’t my bats eat cockroaches? Nature is crazy.

It gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about that thing. I’m just going to go see Modest Mouse and try to forget.

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