Most Common Sense

19 Aug

I threw an engagement party and was allergic to the flowers I had chosen for decorations. I went to the state fair and got bitten by a donkey. I went to an alligator rodeo and handled an iguana and got salmonella. I swung off a janky old rope swing and snapped my ankle. I gave someone the bird while closing a car door and ended up with my middle finger locked halfway into that car.

It is possible that I make poor choices.

Want to know what my high school superlative was? Most Common Sense. Which isn’t even like a category- they just made up something for everyone so we wouldn’t feel left out or whatever. But Most Common Sense. That’s what they chose for me. Most Common bloody Sense.

I once drank moonshine given to me by a roadie named ‘Angry Andy’ and have once accepted a ride from a stranger covered in neck and face tattoos by in Pagosa Springs named ‘Spider’. Most Common Sense.

Chased coyotes, swam with barracudas, petted sting rays, walked into glass doors, fallen through my own prank chair (multiple times), thought a glue stick was chapstick, eaten a dog treat, and gone out with my shirt on backwards, and once for my birthday I tried to make old printer ink cartridges explode.

Most common sense.

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