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And that’s how you get pink eye

25 Feb

A coworker and I used to have a running joke. Whenever one of us did something gross (clean out the drain, scrape grease off of walls, touch an unknown sticky spot on the bar, make out with a stranger, etc) we would giggle “And that’s how you get pink eye.” You know, because you get pink eye from fecal matter (at least that’s what he told me).

It became a whole thing. Whenever we’d talk about our weekends we would say it, whenever someone bent over and we saw a butt crack, whenever a pigeon or a dog got inside, whenever anybody spoke or behaved inappropriately…you get the idea.

I recently sent him this picture with the caption “And that’s how you get pink eye.”


Apparently you can get conjunctivitis from allergens, too. Which sucks, because I really like my danderful cats.

Also, that is no laughing matter (ok kind of it is) because it’s stinking painful and causes complications (blepharitis, punctate keratitis) which make it a pain to cure.

Haha. Doesn’t ‘blepharitis’ sound like a dinosaur name? That’s kind of awesome.

…I guess the joke’s on me, folks.

Getting Classy

23 Feb

Going straight classy tonight. Lit a bunch of candles, filled a bubble bath, turned on my happy new playlist

Then i ate a sandwich in the bath tub, while smoking joint, and am now attempting to dye my own hair. Like some kind of animal. By candle light. Because I haven’t learned anything yet.

My Chicago Coat

2 Feb

Never thought it’d be used more than that one visit. Boy was I wrong.

I bought this coat on sale during the winter of 2010. I was visiting family and it was cold. COLD. I’d been uncomfortable the whole trip.

Enter my below the knee down feather puffy coat with fur lined hood and furry pom poms to boot.

I wasn’t thinking then of the animal atrocities that occur in China to make rabbit fur available to me. For this, I have regrets.

I also didn’t think I would ever really be needing this big coat ever again. But it has come to be a winter staple in my wardrobe.

I call it my Chicago coat.

And it is warm.

I associate it with all manner of happiness and family and coziness.  Everyone should have a giant puffy coat to keep them warm. Mine is a giant coat made of blankets and hugs. Perfect.

Be well, my friends.

Take 1

12 Feb

I’ve lately been avoiding writing anything of substance. I’ve been avoiding everything in general I think. But a lot has happened, and it should be addressed. And it all will be addressed in good time. Here’s a summary of the nothingness that no one missed:

First of all, the holidays got me pretty down this year, for one reason or another. Who cares why. But so after New Years I decided to take care of some things.

For example: I have lived in New Mexico for eight years and it has always been a goal of mine to see Carlsbad Caverns National Park. It is the 2nd largest cave in the US, it used to be a coral reef, now it’s like a 30 million year old Flintstones world. So I saw that. It was awesome. (more on the caves to come later)

Then one of my childhood best friends got married. Couldn’t, wouldn’t miss it for the world. She decided her wedding would be in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Fuck yea. So then that happened. Puerto Rico is fabulous. It has since crossed my mind to simply move there. I think I am still happy with that decision. They have bioluminescense down there. (more on the Puerto Rico wedding to come later)

My birthday happened again. This year I am *ahem* 25. That was an ordeal. But then, my birthdays rarely ever go smoothly. I’ll tell y’all all about my 25th birthday someday.

Decided Floyd and me need a puppy in our lives. Well, I decided. We both miss Kiki. We’re both kind of aging these days. We could use with some youth. So we’re in the market for a baby hound :).

I need to stop avoiding my blog updates. I just gotta own it. Plus, a great friend of mine is starting his WordPress at Everyone should check it out.

And again, as I said, more to come. Just gotta find my words.

My Sisyphus

10 Feb

That would be my Sisyphus. Instead of rolling a rock up a hill I’d be perpetually trying to light a cigarette in hell.


My Best Friend

26 Feb


Always waiting with a hug and kind words. Always ready to drop everything she’s doing if I need her. Always willing to shred some evil man’s expensive belongings to stand up for me.
She’s the best part of today and everyday I am fortunate enough to share with her over the last 16 years.
She’s my best friend.

Oh, the weather outside is weather

15 Feb

My morning walk this morning was absolutely lovely. February is an odd month in New Mexico- freezing wind, rain, 60° sun filled days, or blankets of snow. Last night, as I was closing down shop, it began to snow. I mean those huge, sand dollar size snowflakes that are so fluffy and wet that they stick to everything no matter it isn’t very cold outside. There was no wind; the air was still. They fell in crazy swirly zig zags. Lovely. I walked home in it- it was like walking in the rain on a warm October day.

This morning, as I passed the fire station and the Greek Orthodox Church and all of the old Victorian houses of my neighborhood on the way to the coffee shop, the neighborhood was drenched in a soggy layer of wet snow leftover from the night before. No matter that I slipped in a puddle and busted my butt on the concrete, I sensed something divine in the air: the smell, the sounds, the awakening of spring.

Game on, Albuquerque. Let’s see you wow me again this year.

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