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Parks and Wrecks a Haiku

5 Oct

I told a coworker to write a poem on the old typewriter I found. I could see him counting on his fingers and thinking of phrases silently. A normal person would assume he was writing a Haiku.

I got this instead:

"Lindsay in disguise

Grinchy grin always wins

Always use the half rule"

So….yea….

I actually kind of love it.

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All About that Bosque

1 Mar

Lunch today is brought to you by the letter G for gumbo. And by Jill and Raf (who made the gumbo).

It’s been a while since I posted so let me catch yall all up to speed. I got a new job, and decided to go back to school. These were independent decisions but of course with my luck, they both manifested and began on the same day. So I went from exactly zero to one hundred in a matter of seconds. I am still working to catch my breath.

The job is wonderful, and exactly what I wanted in my life right now. Maine was great but I was constantly wondering about the logistics behind the island. What environmental measures are in place to keep the bird populations happy and healthy? Is anyone studying the seal family over on Nigh Duck? How much of this sewage that we funnel into the harbor ends up inside of cod? How much erosion takes place in Cathedral woods each spring? …These are the sorts of things I wondered about. All the while the humidity was wreaking havoc on my bones and so I swore my next job would have the option of a chair. I got my wish. I now work for the Open Space Division (part of the Parks and Recreation Department) for the City of Albuquerque. Open Space manages nearly 30,000 acres of wetland, volcanoes, bosque, the Rio Grande, and petroglyphs among many other things, with the purpose of acquiring, protecting, and maintaining the natural landscapes and cultural resources that both enhance our urban environment and provide wildlife habitats.

I do love this desert. With the recent political environment and feeling of doom, I suppose I should be in the public sector, fighting to preserve the places that are threatened. We all do our part.

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A reason to throw a party… and to have it catered

17 Nov

​It was surprisingly warm last night in the Airstream. Low sixties, maybe high fifties. I’ve been sleeping in a wool poncho I got in Mexico, so that might very well have been helping as well. Before dawn, a crazy wind kicked in and I had to get up and secure some things, because even with windows and door shut, if not latched properly they rattle like hell. There are plenty of breezes that get through the seals. When I got back in bed Frank crawled under the blanket and poncho with me. It got cold, but not til the sun came up. Then it kept getting colder.

I woke up when the wind literally shook me out of bed. Frank had also skooched me to the edge so that spill was partially his fault too. Falling in the Airstream sucks. You hit everything. Like I could’ve literally landed my head in the oven. The camper was swaying so much because of the deflated tire, the uneven parking space, and the blasted super wind cutting down the mountain at 70mph. I could hear things outside snapping and falling and breaking. Desert debri stings.

I grew up in the south. I know you don’t stay in a trailer in a wind storm. So Frank and I put Cheese-cat outside (he has a safe spot) and went to the grocery store and laundromat. The awful wind wouldn’t stop and it was honestly pissing me off, coupled with a handful of folks being extremely deficient at their jobs, and Frank being a total jerk about some cheese snacks I had in my purse, I was having a truly awful day. I had to fight just to shut doors, keep groceries in their bags, my laundry off the parking lot, and it kept getting colder.

I haven’t yet unpacked any of my bags except a weekend bag from a month ago, because there is nowhere for me to put everything right now. I’m crowded. So at the laundromat I was that human (we’ve all seen them) who literally took off her coat, her sweater, and her socks in public by the washer and threw them all in, then hung out for an hour in only dress pants and a wife beater, doing a crossword by a glass wall on the busiest street in town. My eyes felt like they did when I had pink eye. Was the wind giving me pink eye? The idea pissed me off. I was stewing in crankiness. Not my best showing.

Some rando came over and offered to get me stoned. Seriously. I was that disheveled and unhappy. He buggered off and then people mostly left me alone. But then after an extremely chilly patio beer with Mr. Frank and a pretty sunset we decided to get a cheap hotel room and a warm bath. We shared some junk food and I changed my poncho and now all I felt was tired. 

Oh, and pure joy. Because on the way to get junk food I saw this beauty and had to do a double take.

That’s right. Waffle House has a food truck. So life headed in at least one right direction today. Kaboom, y’all… now what sort of party should I get catered?

Wednesday

8 Jun

So I woke up today. Great.
I spent the last evening with some guests staying in a cottage. It’s an older woman and her elderly mother. Her mother makes the most beautiful paintings and she can’t hear and barely sees, it is incredible. And the other one, Nancy, she’s awesome and swears up a storm. I found two random soul mates. Was lovely. I was scared and nervous but I’m glad I came to the island. I was probably meant to be here. They both thought so, too. A truly simple and nice evening.
Then morning comes, and I want to talk about it. And Jim is gone. And Mr. Frank is in Mississippi. What world do I live in? I’ve gone wild and haven’t anyone to document and laugh and fumble with. Now life is weird.
I miss Jim. He was a good one.

There’s Just No Helping Some People

30 Apr

Saturday mornings may be my new favorite. Today started with an excellent yard sale which resulted in a beautiful, old, wool Hudson Bay blanket.

I was going down to Astro Zombies to tell them I’d be away for a while (last time they thought maybe I was dead or something) and in walking down Silver I passed a tiny street fair selling doner kabobs. Naturally, I went to investigate… and came across a DOGGY COSTUME CONTEST AND DOG THEMED FAIR. A Canadian woman was selling little camper shaped dog houses and they were giving out homemade dog biscuits and the dogs were all adorable.

Frank would’ve been the absolute cutest dog there. I would’ve dressed him up as a turkey. Or a pineapple. Or a gummy bear.

And then Astro Zombies was having a pre-sale and I got a ton of awesome books for half off. What a Saturday!

Enter noon. Driving downtown I came across a tiny little doggie wearing a collar running through the streets. He seemed so calm but clearly confused. I parked and followed him down the sidewalk for a bit but he kept shaking my trail. I got back in the car and just as I was about to force myself to forget all about the tiny dog, he ran across my path and down a street I probably wouldn’t otherwise be walking down. I called out and he stopped, started wagging is tail, and waited as I slowly approached him. The street was rather busy with cars (another car had stopped across the street to help him and the passengers watched in curiosity) and as I was pretty close to the shanty town some vagrants wandered around closer than I’d have liked.

As I got closer the tiny dog yapped a little but still wagged his tail and even took a playful step forward. Suddenly, he turned into a scary demon death monster showing me a mouth full of sharp scary teeth as large as his tiny body. While I was screaming “OH SWEET LORD”, he charged my toes and backed me down the whole street. A homeless man with very few teeth laughed and told me I should watch out for the little ones. I was white when I got back to the car because I was positive I had, in fact, seen a ghost.

But hey at least I had Saturday morning.

Burnin’ Rubber

13 Apr

This weekend I took Wally (that’s my Airstream’s name) out and about for some New Mexican adventures. I got her a new trailer adapter for this trip, to convert the 7 pin system to 6 flat, so that the tail lights and blinkers would work with my truck and I wouldn’t have panic attacks about changing lanes on the highway.

As it turns out, when the adapter is plugged in, my right side trailer brake randomly engages and won’t let up. I found this out when the trailer jolted me to a stop and smoke came up from my tire. Absolutely terrifying. The only solution I could come up with on the road was to leave the adapter unplugged (meaning no turn signals and tail lights).

So that’s an electrical issue, the first of probably many issues to come. Life is largely just maintenance anyhow, so that’s ok.

Fishing was awesome except I met my white whale, a monster channel cat, that literally swam just at the surface in front of me for about half an hour, looking me in the eye and snubbing my bait. No doubt he was laughing at me and calling me names. I must catch that fish. So I was so focused on him I completely ignored the trout and wound up not catching anything at all. No worries. It was still a good day with Frank.

The water valve on Wally has been shut for so long that I needed a wrench to unscrew it, and of course I didn’t have one. So we drank bottled water and showered at the campground. Add bring a wrench and WD-40 to the list. Also add ‘figure out the toilet and blackwater tank’ to that list, because the year long rule of don’t poop in the trailer still stands, and can add a splash of excitement when you leave in a hurry in search off a campground toilet and forget your headlamp.

Overall the trip was great, even though the brake issue is terrifying. Frank and I had fun and that’s what matters. I got to drive my rolling toaster around and that is a great feeling.

Hopefully my restoration project won’t take my entire income this summer.

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Losing Weight

6 Apr

This month I’m getting rid of almost everything that doesn’t fit in my Airstream. Getting tires replaced, repacking the ball bearings, fixing the locks…

So I’m selling and donating and giving away my stuff. If I don’t travel soon I’m sure to go stir crazy. It is a little nostalgic to get rid of some of my little trinkets, though.

We collect so many things over the years.

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