Tag Archives: beer

Did I just lose my mojo?

28 Mar

The waiter was walking around with a tray of cheese biscuits and tiny cornbreads. We sat drinking our beers at the corner of the bar, thoroughly engrossed in a discussion about a new job. Mike smiled. “I bet you won’t be able to say no to this.” I thought he was saying something about our conversation. The waiter came by with the tray, and asked if we’d like some bread. I told him no thank you and went back to talking.

Then I did a double take. Did I really just dismiss cornbread? Why hadn’t I paid any attention? Of course I want cornbread and cheese biscuits. This was lunacy.

So I spent the next half hour following the waiter with hawkeyes as he went around with the tray. He went to one couple at the end of the bar, stood by the hostess and talked, passed through the dining room, went to the kitchen and came out with a fresh tray, stood and talked to some waiters…

Blood vessels in my eyes were bursting. Finally he came back our way. I made my happy eye contact and smiled big, batting my eyelashes, twisting in my seat and swishing my dress.

He smiled back. And then walked right past us with his stupid cheese biscuits and tiny cornbreads. Flirting fail. I just wanted some bread!

Fuck that bar.

I went home and made cornbread.

Grody Frank

29 May

A few things in life that Grody Frank loves:

Kitty treats (cat litter crusted cat poop)
Swimming
Paper towel cardboard rolls
Socks
Bacon
Beer
Rolling in the dirt
Floyd, and everything she does
Face hugs
Peanut butter
Licking up his own pee…

In fact, there are very few things in life that he does not like. I can only think of a handful of things that upset him:

Cylons
The floaty rafts drifting in the pool
Lamb Chop – the Puppet
Michael crawling through the dog door

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