Tag Archives: cats

You Drive Me Crazy

28 Jun

Our roadtrip from Albuquerque to Austin was quite a spectacle. A lot of family, a very small car.

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Depth of My Mind

11 Feb

I dreamed I was working at Macy’s and I was perpetually lost in the mall. Also, dinosaurs kept attacking and ransacking the town, which I also kept getting lost and turned around in. I lived in a little Irish neighborhood. The entire thing was set to the Legend of Zelda music.

Then I dreamt I had an abortion and I was forced to carry the little fetus around in a bag at my hip as my Scarlet Letter. I passed out in a dirty alley and was invited into a home where a little Indian boy watched me shower and asked me questions about my life choices and the scars on my body.

Then I dreamt that I was at a particularly cruel dodgeball related summer camp. But I’ve had that same dream many times before. I’m getting better at it. I despise bullies.

I woke up with a jolt because I felt something on my face. It was Floyd’s hair and whiskers. She had her face just centimeters from mine. Her eyes were wide open. She often watches me as I sleep.

Creep.

Punching Bags

15 Jan

My cat just came to hang out with me. She sat next to me while I slept, watched me for a bit, and then punched me in the face.

Which caused the biggest nosebleed of my life to occur. A true gusher.

My teeth ache. And my eyes. I’m worried she may have broken my nose.

How can so much blood come out of a face?

She maimed me (on accident) and now I know that my heart still works because it is pumping a steady flow of blood through my nostrils.

Fun fact: nosebleeds make you want to sneeze. Supplemental fun fact: it looks like American Psycho in here.

That’s good. This is actually a good thing. Maybe I needed some all-encompassing face pain to distract me from my heartbreak (life).

Always so wise, Floyd.

I swear to god if I get black eyes from this I’m giving up. No more fucks will be given.

Turns out I really like the taste of blood, though (probably something I shouldn’t say on the interwebs).

Ah, salmon steaks on the face. Classic Tuesday.

Morning Cat

18 Dec

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Floyd wakes up Lindsay
With kitty love and kisses
But also swear words

Cars and Crap and Copycats

10 Dec

In the last month I have run out of gas once, pushed my car backwards up a hill, had a nail in my tire, had my tire patched, got a screw in the same tire, had that patched, had my car parked in by a giant hole and a back ho, and then had the alternator kick the bucket. But that’s just my car problems. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.

But instead of dwelling on that entire negative and being a total bummer, I am looking on the positive side of things. I get to walk more, which I could use. Those winter pounds pack on quick. Plus it’s good to get out into the fresh air.

But in general, I think I will be glad to see 2012 off with a resounding BANG. Fuck. This. Shit. So I was going to write some positive, look-on-the-bright-side, cheerful crap.

But then Floyd came and composed a little something that I think carries far more weight…

“b    vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv”

….So happy Monday.

Giving Thanks

22 Nov

Each year it gets harder and harder, the listing of all the things I love and for which I am thankful. Not because I haven’t got plenty, but because each year there are more and more wonders. And I am thankful for it all. I’m thankful for the enormity of the love in the world and I’m thankful for being a part of it, and thankful for being a person able to see it. The good and the bad, the dark and the light.

A wonderful exercise- thinking about the good. We spend entirely too much time griping about the bad.

I am thankful for:

Floyd
Southern ghosts and desert landscapes
Morning glories
Good books
Hot chocolate on cold nights
Bakers
Snuggling
Astro Zombies
My family
My jobs
My cheesy burger boss
Old friends. and new.
Growing up, and that I was given the chance to be a child once.
The fact that I wasn’t born terribly ordinary or common, even if it meant that I was instead born batshit crazy and odd.
Bartenders
Hot toddies- and whiskey in general
Cheeseburgers
The smell of snow
The color of pink champagne
Rain
My bougainvillea
The memories of my travels and the anticipation of those to come. Thankful for getting the hell out of dodge.

Thankful that even though I won’t be home for Thanksgiving I will still be with people I love.

And I am thankful for still possessing the capacity to feel thankful. I’m thankful that life hasn’t broken me yet.

How’s about you and me…

14 Feb

Did I ever mention that I have pointy ears? Like, totally pointy. I think I am a descendent of elves or something (well, if that were a real option). It often catches people off guard. I like to make up stories to explain my ears’ serrated edges, and for the most part people believe them.

I’ve never been too good with names but I remember faces. Oh, wait. That’s entirely not true. I am good with neither.

Cheeseburgers are the best food in the entire world.

I come from Mississippi.

One time, I killed a Fer-de-Lance with a machete. That’s the best part of that story.

I’m naturally blonde. A great color blonde, actually. I dye my hair red in the winter, and I don’t know exactly why, but it makes me happy.

In another life I was a fish. Then a ferocious jungle cat ate that fish. I was ferocious jungle cat in another life, too. And probably a seaweed at some point, as well.

My favorite words are: porcupine, staccato, nail polish, creole, island (because it is just spelled so stupidly), fences, pineapple, cellar (I think of wine), stellar, gem, and blowfish. My least favorite words are: dry, rip, qi (it should NOT be allowed on Words with Friends), Cincinnati, yeast, lo-carb, and pit (lest we are talking about the Brad).

Also, I kind of want a pet dolphin- but only for like a day or so.

My favorite bits of machinery and mechanical wonder are photo booths, drawbridges, automatic staplers, those great margarita blenders, hair dryers, and the compass in the dashboard of the car.

I like books. I also like graphic novels. A lot.

When I was like, 15 maybe, I went to Scotland for the summer. That was fun.

It’d be neat to be a pirate, but I’m not really down with stealing from people. Unless I was looting like badass jewelry and genie lamps. And flying rugs. And I had a pet parrot. And an eye patch. And Johnny Depp.

I should’ve put ‘badass’ on my list of favorite words. It certainly is badass enough to belong there.

I collect pearls.

I also collect fossils. And rocks. And seashells. And bones. And teeth.

My cat’s name is Floyd- you can see her picture here. She’s the bee’s knees. My dog’s name is Kiki. She pees on things. I love Floyd more. They both know it.

Young Guns and Young Guns II are two of the best films to ever grace American cinema. Top Gun was a gem as well. But, if I were at a dinner party or asked by a customer (this happened the other night) to list my top five favorite movies, my reply would be something like, “Gone With the Wind, A River Runs Through It, Braveheart, Forrest Gump, The Dark Knight, Jurassic Park, The Lion King, and Gattaca” because I cannot count, and hate to admit that I went to a museum exhibit just to see Top Gun movie storyboards, jackets, and helmets.

I suffer bouts of insomnia. That’s usually when I write random lists such as these. More often than not I google funny pictures of koala bears.

All of my tattoos are down around my feet.

I have broken a LOT of bones. Many of them more than once. I’m fragile, and I know that- now.

I won a competition once to see who could get down a water-slide the fastest. I have a scar from that. When I tell people my scar is from Breckenridge, they usually assume it was a snow skiing accident. Nope.

So those are some fun facts about me, the love of my life (besides Floyd) this Valentine’s day. I guess it’s a good thing no one is taking me to dinner or some sappy thing, I make ridiculous conversation.

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