Tag Archives: comic books

You Can’t Take Me Anywhere

7 Mar

Last night I went to see Logan with the crew. It started at 7:30 and it’s a 2.25 hour long movie. I wake up at 4:30 a.m. for work these days, and I go to bed early. I fell asleep somewhere in the middle of the movie. While I was asleep, Wolverine stumbles upon a Wolverine comic book and he and Prof. X start debating it or something. I dunno. I was asleep. But apparently at the talk of comic books I started talking back and answering Prof. X.

I quote “You had a blast with Prof. X last night. We can’t take you anywhere.”

At one point I said “No!” so loud I woke myself up.

It’s a good movie at the end. I think.

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Springtime Adventures

29 Apr

I have a dream of living in a tiny house with Mr. Frank and traveling the continent. What better time to start than now? I’m certainly not getting any younger.

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This Must Be The Place

5 Jul

In keeping with this year’s theme, “And now for something completely different,” I packed up all my belongings and moved out of my lovely, old, Victorian neighborhood and into an apartment with the boyfriend. Now I live in Midtown next to a grocery store, pet store, hardware store, Dollar General, a jazzercise studio, Taco Bell and Subway. Yikes.

I’m handling it surprisingly well, if I do say so myself.

Well, barring that massive meltdown I had over the last week.

The moving day was set for Monday- my day off and usually our ‘date day.’ When Sunday night rolled around my brain came to a complete stop. COMPLETE. I couldn’t think of basic phrases or sentences.  Needless to say, I had a stupid horrible night at work. When it was all over, two of my best friends called to tell me good luck, and to check in to make sure I was ok. They know me just far too well. After some crying, screaming- and I think I threw something at some point- I finally got to sleep.

Enter Monday- the moving day. I was running behind in getting my stuff packed into my buddy’s van, and I needed help. The boyfriend was off cleaning his apartment. If I had known just how dirty that apartment was, I would’ve begged him to keep cleaning but instead I asked him to come by. As I got all my memories stuffed into the van, I was overwhelmed again by those same waves of sadness that come every time I move. I have a LOT of history, and a lot of evidence.

When we entered the apartment with the first vanload of stuff, I immediately walked outside and started crying. It was FILTHY- just filthy. After a bit of a screaming match, I rolled up my sleeves, swallowed my anger, and started cleaning. I took the next three days off of work to simply clean the place, unpack, organize my shoes and comic books, and try to hide my crazy from the rest of the world (if only for a minute.)

It’s crazy how well two people can compromise when one of them is in a completely psychotic and irrational state. It’s also crazy how far a little jewelry, flowers, and Rod Stewart Radio on Pandora can go to calm down an angry woman.

This week comes the fun part. Painting, new furniture, new linens, new stuff. Shopping is usually a good way to soothe me.

I have some great friends, and it was definitely a group effort to keep me together throughout the whole thing. On Wednesday one of my buddies discovered me sitting beneath the bridge to my old house in a pool of my own tears. He helped me crawl though a window, as I had locked my keys inside the house. On Thursday another buddy had to come get the van out of an impossible parking space I had it in. On Friday I nearly killed myself with a garage door- but that’s another story entirely.

Lessons I learned: next time I move I’m paying someone to do it for me.

 

How’s about you and me…

14 Feb

Did I ever mention that I have pointy ears? Like, totally pointy. I think I am a descendent of elves or something (well, if that were a real option). It often catches people off guard. I like to make up stories to explain my ears’ serrated edges, and for the most part people believe them.

I’ve never been too good with names but I remember faces. Oh, wait. That’s entirely not true. I am good with neither.

Cheeseburgers are the best food in the entire world.

I come from Mississippi.

One time, I killed a Fer-de-Lance with a machete. That’s the best part of that story.

I’m naturally blonde. A great color blonde, actually. I dye my hair red in the winter, and I don’t know exactly why, but it makes me happy.

In another life I was a fish. Then a ferocious jungle cat ate that fish. I was ferocious jungle cat in another life, too. And probably a seaweed at some point, as well.

My favorite words are: porcupine, staccato, nail polish, creole, island (because it is just spelled so stupidly), fences, pineapple, cellar (I think of wine), stellar, gem, and blowfish. My least favorite words are: dry, rip, qi (it should NOT be allowed on Words with Friends), Cincinnati, yeast, lo-carb, and pit (lest we are talking about the Brad).

Also, I kind of want a pet dolphin- but only for like a day or so.

My favorite bits of machinery and mechanical wonder are photo booths, drawbridges, automatic staplers, those great margarita blenders, hair dryers, and the compass in the dashboard of the car.

I like books. I also like graphic novels. A lot.

When I was like, 15 maybe, I went to Scotland for the summer. That was fun.

It’d be neat to be a pirate, but I’m not really down with stealing from people. Unless I was looting like badass jewelry and genie lamps. And flying rugs. And I had a pet parrot. And an eye patch. And Johnny Depp.

I should’ve put ‘badass’ on my list of favorite words. It certainly is badass enough to belong there.

I collect pearls.

I also collect fossils. And rocks. And seashells. And bones. And teeth.

My cat’s name is Floyd- you can see her picture here. She’s the bee’s knees. My dog’s name is Kiki. She pees on things. I love Floyd more. They both know it.

Young Guns and Young Guns II are two of the best films to ever grace American cinema. Top Gun was a gem as well. But, if I were at a dinner party or asked by a customer (this happened the other night) to list my top five favorite movies, my reply would be something like, “Gone With the Wind, A River Runs Through It, Braveheart, Forrest Gump, The Dark Knight, Jurassic Park, The Lion King, and Gattaca” because I cannot count, and hate to admit that I went to a museum exhibit just to see Top Gun movie storyboards, jackets, and helmets.

I suffer bouts of insomnia. That’s usually when I write random lists such as these. More often than not I google funny pictures of koala bears.

All of my tattoos are down around my feet.

I have broken a LOT of bones. Many of them more than once. I’m fragile, and I know that- now.

I won a competition once to see who could get down a water-slide the fastest. I have a scar from that. When I tell people my scar is from Breckenridge, they usually assume it was a snow skiing accident. Nope.

So those are some fun facts about me, the love of my life (besides Floyd) this Valentine’s day. I guess it’s a good thing no one is taking me to dinner or some sappy thing, I make ridiculous conversation.

You Gotta Sin to get Saved

12 Dec

So in the introduction to “High Lonesome” (book 5 of the ”Scalped” series,) Jason Starr compares William Faulkner’s fictional Yoknapatawpha County in Mississippi to Jason Aaron’s creation of the Prairie Rose Indian Reservation in the Dakotas. As if I wasn’t completely sold on the series before!!

I just got the 8th installment of the “Scalped” series called “You Gotta Sin to get Saved” and I am having a hard time getting off the couch for even the most important errands. It is so gritty and raw that the fact that it is NOT real is the odd part. Phenomenal work by Jason Aaron, and as always R.M. Guera’s graphics are absolutely stunning.

If you don’t read comics- I really don’t care.  This is an excellent novel with a compelling story and I encourage you to get out and do something about it (read it!)

You can download the first issue here http://www.dccomics.com/vertigo/graphic_novels/?gn=7722

You’re welcome.

White Girl Problems

20 May

As we waited for the signal to walk, a particularly angry looking man stalked up to us with far too much purpose.  We all braced ourselves.  Sure enough, his opening statement was, “I mean this with no disrespect, but FUCK YOU. FUCK WHITE PEOPLE.”

Eh, boy.  I stepped behind my three dude friends and put my comic books in my bag.

He continued being appalled at us for being white, bringing the Bible onto Indian land, for treating him like shit his whole life, and for just being big assholes in general.  It got particularly nasty when he got in one of our faces’ (ironically enough one of us who isn’t white) and kept repeating “Fuck you, fuck you, in the name of Jesus Christ, fuck you.”  When my friend replied that he was an atheist so the guy wouldn’t enjoy his company in Hell, I pulled out my phone.  Nothing like a Sunday afternoon post-brunch confrontation to really make you feel like a wimpy white girl.

I decided to live the stereotype.

Bringing the Bible onto Indian land?…  Nope, I don’t recall ever doing that but I did do something fairly annoying.

You know what white people do, sir?  We call the cops.  Enjoy your afternoon in jail.

…and yea… white people generally do suck.

Sorry

MY TOP FIVE FAVORITE BOOKS (CURRENTLY) IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

13 Apr

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Very few folks who have read this book would disagree with me that it is nothing short of fantastic.  Magical realism at its best, Garcia creates not only a family but the most (il)logical and perfect place possible for them to live, and carryies us breathtakingly through the journey of their existences.  Macondo is founded and inhabited by the Buendia family, and over seven generations Garcia weaves the beautiful tale of their rise and fall, their virtue and immortality.  While the story is told in beautiful prose that is nothing short of art, the real gem (for me) is the use of time as linear movement and a cyclical process.  Time marches on and history keeps repeating.  Did I mention that besides love affairs, miracles, and wars there is a gypsy?  What is a great story without a gypsy or a pirate- really?

Sanctuary by William Faulkner

Be warned- this book is not for the weak of heart.  In Sanctuary, Faulkner takes us to his famous Yoknapatawpha County in this crime novel that portrays the dark side of the human existence.  A master of Southern Gothic and therefore my one of my favorite authors, Faulkner wastes no time in introducing the evil and corruption that surround the chain of events beginning one weekend deep in the Mississippi woods.  Set during prohibition and with things like corrupt politicians, southern decadence, moonshiners, rape, murders, brothels, gangsters and lynching, it’s a ghastly look at the old south and the uglier side of humanity- the first time I saw ‘Deliverance’ I couldn’t help but think back to this book.  Needless to say, it is a must-read.

Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann

The story of three friends who meet in New York and ‘make it big’ seems like an innocent enough story, and most little girls’ dream, but throw in self destruction, drugs, pills, and suicide and you’ve got a regular sorority story!  Neely, Anne, and Jennifer are three girl friends I visit at least once a year to catch up on old times and remind myself that things really do fall apart.  These glamorous ladies all fall victim in the end to booze, pills, and self-destruction.  It’s an interesting narrative on the unattractive side of the fabulous Hollywood lifestyle, and how the rich and famous deal with being rich and famous.  Susann also gets gritty with the topics of jealousy, insecurity, anger, and obsession- after the first time I read it I was certain life was about disappointment and friends turning on each other.  I still occasionally wonder if that isn’t true.

Bone by Jeff Smith

OK. I know it might not seem similar to the other books on my list, but Bone is an awesome epic tale of love and adventure done in one of my favorite media- comic books.  Three cousins, the Bones, are run out of their hometown and end up in a strange and enchanted foreign land.  Taken under the wing of the lovely and fated Thorn Harvestar, they soon learn all about the local belief system- and how beliefs can change the world.  It is a world of fantasy with dragons, rat creatures, people and alternate realities.  A great combination of Lord of the Rings meets Calvin and Hobbes with cutesy humor in all the right places combined with a dark and ominous tone, it makes for an excellent introduction to the genre for those of you that aren’t usually into comic books.

The Comedians by Graham Greene

Some books I like so much I own multiple copies of them and this is one of those books.  It is set in Haiti during the regime of Papa Doc Duvalier.  Our protagonist, Mr. Brown, is the owner of a tourist hotel, but the tourists have stopped coming.  The country is collapsing and rapidly descending into civil strife.  Resisting the urge to get involved in the local politics and putting most of his efforts into the love affair he is having with a married woman, Brown finds himself tired and fatalistic.  When jealousy meets resignation, Brown decides to finally take action- for all the wrong reasons of course.  What results is a heart-wrenching look at infidelity, conviction, action and inaction.  By the conclusion of the story it is obvious that we are all con artists, merely acting on a stage.  Lovely, isn’t it?

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