Tag Archives: Frank

There’s Just No Helping Some People

30 Apr

Saturday mornings may be my new favorite. Today started with an excellent yard sale which resulted in a beautiful, old, wool Hudson Bay blanket.

I was going down to Astro Zombies to tell them I’d be away for a while (last time they thought maybe I was dead or something) and in walking down Silver I passed a tiny street fair selling doner kabobs. Naturally, I went to investigate… and came across a DOGGY COSTUME CONTEST AND DOG THEMED FAIR. A Canadian woman was selling little camper shaped dog houses and they were giving out homemade dog biscuits and the dogs were all adorable.

Frank would’ve been the absolute cutest dog there. I would’ve dressed him up as a turkey. Or a pineapple. Or a gummy bear.

And then Astro Zombies was having a pre-sale and I got a ton of awesome books for half off. What a Saturday!

Enter noon. Driving downtown I came across a tiny little doggie wearing a collar running through the streets. He seemed so calm but clearly confused. I parked and followed him down the sidewalk for a bit but he kept shaking my trail. I got back in the car and just as I was about to force myself to forget all about the tiny dog, he ran across my path and down a street I probably wouldn’t otherwise be walking down. I called out and he stopped, started wagging is tail, and waited as I slowly approached him. The street was rather busy with cars (another car had stopped across the street to help him and the passengers watched in curiosity) and as I was pretty close to the shanty town some vagrants wandered around closer than I’d have liked.

As I got closer the tiny dog yapped a little but still wagged his tail and even took a playful step forward. Suddenly, he turned into a scary demon death monster showing me a mouth full of sharp scary teeth as large as his tiny body. While I was screaming “OH SWEET LORD”, he charged my toes and backed me down the whole street. A homeless man with very few teeth laughed and told me I should watch out for the little ones. I was white when I got back to the car because I was positive I had, in fact, seen a ghost.

But hey at least I had Saturday morning.

Fancy Frank Day

26 Mar

Today Sweet Baby Frank got a shave and a hair cut, followed by a scrubby bath, and then another haircut. I even cut his nails (and didn’t paint them). It was like a mini spa day for Little F. I’m a bit jealous. If only he could cut and brush my hair for me. Anyway, he spent all afternoon acting like a total stud because of it.   

The most interesting dog in the world.

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He doesn’t always eat cashews, but when he does, it is out of his own turd.

The Secret Life of Backyard Bees

15 Jun

So Frank was acting sluggish and funny all week. He slept a lot, which isn’t too abnormal, but he also wouldn’t eat, which is crazy abnormal. After a trip to the vet and a shot, he was feeling more sprightly and back to playing in the yard, obsessing over these hay bales that the roommates had stacked up to use as an archery target. So I knocked them down. And inside found a hive of bees.

My first instinct was of course to poke it with a stick and hear them buzzing around in there (it sounded like a rattlesnake!). After being chased around the yard and indoors by the bees, I thought about my options. I put on my big rubber boots and my raincoat and went back and cut the strings of the hay bale with the hive inside. A few little chunks fell away but for the most part it stayed in tact. So this wouldn’t be easy. I could try to break it apart with a hoe and hope that the destruction of the hive caused the bees to depart.

And then I had a pang of conscience. Isn’t a beehive a precious thing, after all? So a friend sent me the website for Albuquerque beekeepers and extractors. I called every single beekeeper in town east of the Rio Grande. 

I had a few beekeepers call and even come out but no one would take them away. Because apparently they are bumble bees. Apparently bumble bees don’t make honey, and so are of no interest to bee lovers.

So I stuck a water hose in the thing and drowned the fuckers. They were stinging my dog.

Apparently I’m not the nature lover I thought I was.

This is what my blog does in 2013

30 Dec

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 7,500 times in 2013. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 6 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Riverside

6 Jul

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I’ve been trying to get us out more. For starters, we could both use the exercise. Also it’s a brand new city, what better place- what better time than now to set in place some healthful habits and bond a little with my pup while exploring our new surroundings.

Tonight we to a stroll down by Ladybird Lake. I do enjoy all the parks in Austin, I believe.

You Drive Me Crazy

28 Jun

Our roadtrip from Albuquerque to Austin was quite a spectacle. A lot of family, a very small car.

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Grody Frank

29 May

A few things in life that Grody Frank loves:

Kitty treats (cat litter crusted cat poop)
Swimming
Paper towel cardboard rolls
Socks
Bacon
Beer
Rolling in the dirt
Floyd, and everything she does
Face hugs
Peanut butter
Licking up his own pee…

In fact, there are very few things in life that he does not like. I can only think of a handful of things that upset him:

Cylons
The floaty rafts drifting in the pool
Lamb Chop – the Puppet
Michael crawling through the dog door

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