Tag Archives: hair

Kung Fu Furballs

29 Mar

So I’ve been on a super budget lately while saving up for the summer, but even poor people get bored and want to go see a movie. I really want to see Batman v Superman, but I can wait a bit if it saves me $15. So the date and I went to the dollar theater and saw Kung Fu Panda 3 (which is adorable, btw). I call it the sticky foot theater because, well, your feet stick to all the grime and spilled soda on the floor.

We sat, eating popcorn and giggling, till near the end of the movie. I ate a handful of popcorn, thought something felt wrong, and pulled a hair out of my mouth.

Now I’ve been a little super stressed lately and my hair has been falling out because of it (I know, it is the plot of a horror movie in the making, and here I thought I was starring in a slapstick comedy) so I wasn’t sure if the hair was mine or someone else’s. I sat the popcorn on the floor.

My date leaned over and said, “Is there a lot of hair in that popcorn?”

WHAT THE FUCK?!

I just looked at him like he was an idiot- because he is- and ground my teeth for the rest of the movie. It really is funny and cute. I liked Kate Hudson’s panda character.

Anyway so at the end of the movie I let loose with the “WTF? Why did’t you say something? Whats wrong with you?”

And he answers, “You know what’s really messed up? I kept eating it. I found like 4 or 5 hairs and didn’t think anything of it.”

…What do you say to that? I just stared, astounded.

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Stuck a feather in her hair and called it macaroni

28 Aug

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No Method to the Madness

18 May

It has been recently brought to my attention that I act impulsively and irrationally whenever I decide to shake things up. Oh, and do I ever love to shake things up.

Last week my job ran out of funding for me and I am now cast out into the vast and aching abyss that is full-on unemployment.  With New Mexico cutting funding left and right for all sorts of positions- it came as no surprise.

On my second to last day of work the building flooded, so by now I am sure it has crumbled in my absence (I’m picturing the end of ‘The Fall of the House of Usher’) and perhaps in a week or two a small seedling will sprout up from the rubble.

On my last day of work everyone was ‘sick’ (dealing with floods seems a little above most pay-grades) and I had the department almost entirely to myself.  I was a receptionist- so my only job that day was to answer the phone that never rang and relay the message that nothing could be done about anything- so sorry and goodbye.  It felt pretty good to not give a crap anymore, but I also was sad to leave (only slightly) because I did truly like 2% of my coworkers.  Not enough to keep in touch or anything like that.

After a job interview and whole lot of coffee, I most definitely got bored enough to begin cutting my own hair.  This is not the first time this has happened, but I never seem to learn my lesson.  So I sat, with the blue-handled office Fiskars that I used to open boxes and cut graduation ribbons, and without rhyme or reason, and I cut my split ends.  Needless to say I now have a new, short haircut.

Immediately at 5pm, it being Friday the 13th and all, I headed down to a Friday the 13th themed block party and got a Dia de los Muertos skull with the Roman numerals XIII for his teeth tattooed onto my ankle.  Oops.  I haven’t reached the peak of possible regrets about that action, however, because I am lucky enough to have some awesomely impulsive friends who all got tattooed as well.  They all get tattooed pretty regularly, however, and I am a humongous wimp so it was a bit of a shock to my system.  It took me seven years to finish the last one- we’ll see how long after this one before I add onto it.

After a recovery cheeseburger and a couple of glasses of champagne, I was already late for the end-of-season kickball party (no worries, I’m playing next season) and I had to get there in time to work in some quality time before going to see Mogwai, who happened to be in town that evening.

Saturday was much like any other.  You know, the first-thing-in-the-morning calling every salon in town to see who can fit me in to fix my homemade haircut routine.  No big deal.  A couple of friends graduated from UNM so I attended their parties, then a funeral themed birthday dinner (I will do something similar for my 30th as well) and then hit up a local show.

It was when we all assembled for our Sunday brunch to make sure we survived the weekend that I was informed that I behave in an irrational manner.  No shit, Sherlock.  My hair is 7 inches shorter and I have a skull tattooed on my leg.  The greatest part is that I am not done yet.  I am thinking a dye job is in order as well as an all-new wardrobe.  I must greet this new phase of life with style, no?

Things to do, places to be

15 Dec

I make a list of ‘prompt words’ each day to remind me to accomplish certain tasks. Here is Dec 13, 2010.

1: whiskey in backpack

2: water

3: brush hair

4. busted shoe

5. lotion

6: weirdo

7: hospital bill

8: house key

9: clean laundry

10: finish history paper

11: Pandora sucks

12: that tap dancer

13: Floyd

14: find the coffee

15: whiskey under bed

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