Tag Archives: swine flu

Floozy Flu

25 Sep

He offered to drive me to the far north edge of town. It was miles away. A police chase had totalled my car a couple weeks earlier (I know what you’re thinking, but no, I was not involved). The insurance adjuster had finally come out to take a look at all the property damage along the street, which included my car, and I needed to go to her office up north and sign some paperwork. Great.

So he drove me what seemed like half way to Santa Fe. He was glad to, happy to spend some time with the girl he had met the day before after months of interaction on Twitter. I’m not making that up either, sad as it is; we met on Twitter.

So we met up, hung out, made out, and the next day journeyed to the far reaches of the Heights. It was March in Central New Mexico. The mornings were brisk and the days were getting increasingly warm, yet my jacket was not warm enough that day and I was miserably cold.

After the trip north we went to his apartment so he could feed/I could meet the dog. I asked if he had a sweatshirt I might borrow. I couldn’t shake the cold, but we had committed to dinner, and I was confident that with a bit of warm I could power through. Armed with two jackets, his sweatshirt, a scarf, and arm socks we met some new friends of ours for a bite and a drink.

I made it perhaps fifteen minutes at Gecko’s and asked him to take me home. The chills had turned into sweats and shakes. My head was pounding. I needed some Nyquil and my cat. He could wait.

The next day a new friend’s friend drove me up north again. This time we went to the urgent care, where I was deposited for the duration of the day. I was given fluids and some symptom relief, and the despairing news that last night during my first date I had come down with a roaring case of the swine flu.

“Go home. Expect it to last at least a week. Drink fluids. Stay hydrated. Have someone check on you. You’re young and strong. This may be the worst you ever feel, but it probably won’t kill you. Most likely.”

A friend came to get me, practically peeling me up off the floor. He stocked up my sick supplies and saw me back to bed.
Months later, after another rescue, I would give this friend a kitten.

Flu shots. I got one today. Do you remember March 2011 when I came down with the swine flu? I do. Vividly. Well, kinda (I ended up passing out and hallucinating a lot). Never again. Never. Although if that’s what dying is like, as painful it is, it was also amazingly and indescribably beautiful; and despite carrying on for a week it felt surprisingly swift.

Do us all a favor. Go get your flu shot. Save yourself and all of those poor sniffling souls around you. There’s really no reason not to.


A Steady Diet of H1N1

22 Mar

So I would love to tell the story about how I got the swine flu and laid on my back for six days with a fever over 100 degrees, puking my guts out and crying for mercy. I would like to discuss how I lost my voice and hearing and most of my vision and broke my computer and kept myself entertained entirely by the employment of wit and snark via social media accessed by cell phone. I’d love to carefully paraphrase for you the promises I made to God, should I survive. I wonder who’ll believe my story about the beautiful hallucination I experienced, wherein my bedroom became a boat on the sea, and everyone I ever loved, dead and alive, came to visit my bedside and tell me stories so I wouldn’t be frightened anymore. I would tell you about crawling across my kitchen floor because I was too dizzy from not eating and severe dehydration to stand up and walk to the bathroom to stick my face in a toilet- but that’d just be a total downer, huh?

Instead, I’ll just mention that after a week in bed I now have a lower, sexier, raspier voice and I am nine pounds skinnier- two outcomes of a near death experience (I exaggerate) that are not depressing at all. Like I love to say- we could all always be a little sexier.

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